Summer is OVER.

Booooo.

I am so sad that summer is over! I took off the summer to be with Emma, and honestly it was so nice. I have worked my ass off for years so it was so nice to be able to not work and be home with her! I really cherished every moment of it. We had such a fun summer, and did alot of fun things together!

Unfortunately, I have to get back to work. After our vacation, I will be looking into some salons. I really would like to own my own salon, but I think it would be best to work for alittle bit here. I really want to give Missouri until this next summer. I will be saving all my money, and depending on where I want to be by next summer I will buy a home!! NO MORE RENTING for me.

As much as I have been annoyed with being back at home, I am glad that I did. My mom was very depressed moving away from her friends and life in Indiana. She had to be put on depression meds, and she has been so much happier having me here. She also has alot of heart problems now, so she really needed me. It still feels weird though because it has been 4 years since I have been on my own, paying my own bills, having my own place, my own life, etc. doing it ALONE AND being a single mother *pat on the back* Which as stressful as it was, it was great. I had an amazing job, and had amazing women working for me.

My mom really needed me. I didn't move here becuase I had no where to go, I moved here to be closer to her. I am so thankful now that I did becuase otherwise, there was no way I could have stayed home with Emma. None! It was such a blessing.

I feel like I have accomplished so much in the past two years. I left an abusive relationship, leaving our house, our furniture, our friends, EVERYTHING I had worked for up to that point. I left Indiana with about 400 dollars to my name. I can't even imagine doing that again! I got a job transfer, took a chance. In ohio, things were better than ever at the time. I made alot of friends, had a great job, a nice house, and it was JUST me and Emma. After my salon was sold to a company, I had to leave, and alot of my girls had to leave too. Its almost like this Kansas City thing happened at the right moment. At the time my mom needed me I had just left my job. I was looking into persuing other things. All the money in the world wasn't worth time with my baby though. I am so much happier being at home with her then making all the money I was.

I have a successful website, that I LOVE. I have made alot of great friends on there, and the women have been absolutely unbelievably supportive of my life. Its an "out" to them as much as it is to me. I could be having the worst day ever, and get on, and someone can say, "hey, hang in there!" or, "Man, I know what you mean". It honestly means the world.

I am currently working on another website of mine. I have two others that have been "under construction" One being a boutique. I really would love to start selling things online. I will continue to sell on Ebay too. The other website is for makeup tips, and cosmetic product reviews. Its still being worked on. I hope to be able to sell makeup on there once I get everything up and running.

I wish I could stay at home with Emma, and work on my businesses online. They are a ton of work, and I have to find time when Emma is napping becuase Its hard to be online more than a few minutes at a time without interuptions. haha

I want to start working and eventually cut down to part time, or schedule all my clients on a few days a week, once my online businesses start up. I wish I could have gotten these things started last year, because I might not have had to go to work like I will be doing this month, but Emma will be starting preschool, and I wont work late. I refuse. Once she is in kindergarten I will be working, but I want to be home when she gets off the bus. I know I can do all this. I will figure out a way!

My life is being a mother. As much as I love doing hair, and makeup, etc. What I feel like I succeed most in is being a mommy. I feel very fullfilled with it. These years that I am enjoying now with Emma I will NEVER get back. I wish I could stall everything and just hold on to every day. She is just growing so fast! I never want to be like, Well, when Emma was a baby, I was working.

I want to say, When Emma did that, I was right there with her. I was right there and I watched her.

I don't see me staying at home this summer as a failure. I see it as one of the best summers of my life. yeah, I didnt go out, party, etc. But we went on little trips together, and just enjoyed every minute. I am so incredibly thankful for that.