Sunday, August 31, 2008


Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic

So, Edel is leaving early from Florida. I really am not sure how me and Emma will spend the last two days. I definitely would like to hangout with Laci and Chayce, but that leaves one day open to figure out something else to do... hmm...

I am going to have to look up things to do.
With him leaving early, it kind of messes up plans.

o well!

Ditch the husband, and just have children?

I read that Jenna Jameson is pregnant with her now boyfriend of two years, Tito.
She said she has no plans on getting married, just wants to skip that, and have children.

I really like to see women who are like that
(Angelina Jolie)
Very independent. Successful, and not depending on a man for comfort in their lives.
I really could see myself being like also. I would love to have a husband, but right now I love being single. Maybe 5 yrs down the road if I am not married, and I am successful I will get "artificially inseminated" lol

For real. Dating men is stressful. You can spend years and years with a man, and then find out later that they are a liar, or have mistreated you somehow in the relationship. I don't like to be vulnerable. I am pleased to have Emma my whole world.

My grandfather after divorcing my grandmother never remarried. He made my mom and my Aunt his life. He completely then made his grandchildren his life, and he really truly is happy being alone now.

I like this whole feminist approach on relationships. They are just the cherry on top of a great life. You don't need one to survive, and you don't need one to get children, and have a family. You really need to depend on yourself before depending on someone else. I love being in full control.


I hung out with Tom at the lake.................. it was soooo fun :)

Saturday, August 30, 2008


Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I think i am going to be going out tonight with Tom. Man, what am I going to wear!?!!
I am excited.... but nothing is set in stone at the moment. My sister just told me that he called her for my number, so I think he will call me sometime today.
If not I really want to go to the movies with Andrew. I wish I could figure out what is going on so I can make plans either way..

Friday, August 29, 2008


We went to the Mexican Restaurant... (yes again!) with my parents, and my brother tonight.
I had this:
A Mango Margarita <3
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
It was sooooo good, but I have to say, I was feeling alittle tipsy before I left! I never feel that way! I didn't drive- dont worry! I had Carnitas for dinner. It was yummy :)


I am so excited, only 10 days until FLORIDA!!! I seriously cannot wait!!
I really hope we get to see Chayce and Laci!

I know this is going to make me want to live in florida more and more!
Edel called and said he has to leave early because of school. This kind of makes me mad, but owell. He never goes through with anything he says, and I bet he will leave DAYS before we do.
I couldn't care less I guess. Me and Emma have more fun just it being us!

I have been so happy the last two days. Relieved, refreshed. I am excited to go on my vacations. I am probably going to hangout with Amanda's friend Tom this weekend. I am excited. I need to go out and have fun for once.

After Florida, I think I am going to go to Chicago and hangout with Amanda. I am not sure yet!
I will postpone any job searching until October, after CA.
Right now I am just trying to have fun, live life, and be carefree.

once I get back from CA, I will get a job, save up money, and move to Florida by next summer!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Mexican Jumping Bean!

I want Emma to be proud of her Mexican heritage. I want her to be fully bilingual. I have been pointing out mexican food to her, mexican culture, everything. I think I am going to get some mexican cds for her to listen to!

She was dancing tonight to this

I love selena. I hope Emma starts to like her too!

Its Raining its Pouring!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Finally its raining! Its been so unbearably hot here lately we need a good storm to cool things off. We have lightening and thunder, JUST WHAT I LOVE!


Mark. review

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I got the Sydney one, the Fuchsia colored compact. Feeling the weight of the item its rather light.
When you open the compact, there is a mirror, and there is a "flip" part that you can flip to eyehadow and blush, or lipcolor. The colors are nice. their is a creamy off-white color (Nomadic), a chocolate brown color (Bondi Beach), and the cheek color is like a light brick color (sunlove glo).

when you flip it to the lip side there are 2 lip colors and 2 glosses. The colors are bronzy. lipcolors are: Sydney Smooch, and Adelaide. Lip glosses are: Aussie Kiss, and Down Under.

I like the names. Very cute.

lets get back to the compact. I am used to Mary Kay compacts, and I have to say this quality isn't as good, but I liked the fact that you can flip the colors around. That is really neat, and not something I have seen before. The second time I flipped through the compact the tray got off track, and I had to snap it back in place so you definitely have to be careful with watching while your flipping the colors around.

The compact comes with 3 brushes. An eyebrush, lipbrush, and cheek brush. The cheek brush is very soft. Unfortunately they do not have caps, which I find very much a nuisance because the lip brush will be all sticky and I wouldn't want to put it in my purse (since you can't fit it in the compact)

I tried the lipcolor and gloss. They are really nice. There is a slight flavor to them. Almost a vanilla flavor. I am not completely sure, but it definitely isn't strong, which I like.

The eyecolors are nice, they work well with the brushes. The check color to me is alittle too bright for this look. I was expecting more of a bronze cheekcolor, but this one is almost a light pinkish red color. It's a nice cheek color though as far as it going on the skin.

I would give this an 8 out of 10, reasons being, I don't like the fact there is no where to put the brushes. They don't have anything covering the brush, but little plastic tube like things they came in for packaging (that I think I will save and use for the storage of the brushes)
And I am alittle worried that since the lipcolor and gloss doesn't have a separate compartment that it might melt if I am in warm climate, if its in my purse. I am afraid that it might get on the compact itself, or even melt onto the mirror,etc. Also, The eye colors particles could get in the gloss, changing the pigment.

I definitely wont be keeping this in my purse until fall.

Also, I ordered this:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I didn't realize this is part of an attachment and is incredibly tiny. Its about the length of my pinkie.
I didn't look at the demintions, and probably should have. I like the color I picked, It was Swank I believe. I expected to feel a burning sensation like other limp plumps, but don't feel anything. there is a slight taste again, but nothing overpowering. I really like it.

again, I would give this a 8/10, I wish it was bigger. its alittle small.
It definitely has a great color, and it looks really pretty.

The plus' to buying these items are:
  • They are very affordable.
  • They are very compact, the eyeshadows, blush, lipcolor, and gloss are in one compact
  • They are small, you could fit all these items in a small clutch
  • The overall quality is great
For sanitary reasons, I wish they would have made it so one side was eyeshadow etc, then the other side was the lipcolor and gloss, and there was like a pullout mirror in between. That way they could have had plastic covers on the eyeshadow, and the lipcolor, and maybe a space in between the mirror for the brushes.

Just my thoughts!
Overall...I would definitely recommend Mark. Cosmetics to someone!

Car Insurance

I hate Allstate. They are supposed to be so good, yet they SUCK! My bill fluctuates HUNDREDS of dollars a month. One month its 116 dollars, the next its 24o. Then It will be 190. This is bullshit. I am canceling them today!

What really pisses me off is they have a 1800 number, only, no one there speaks english. they hardly understand me, and I hardly understand them, so for all I know they have been ripping me off every month!!! I called State Farm, so maybe they'll have a better rate!! I hope!

I can't wait til they call me back with my rate. This is ridiculous, either way- I AM SO DONE WITH ALLSTATE!

11 days!!!

And I am in FLORIDA!!!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
The long anticipated trip is finally just around the corner!!! I cant wait. I love the rental we got. Its so nice, and I have a PRIVATE pool and hot tub. You cant get any better than that! It will be really nice for Emma to spend some time with Edel too. He hasn't been around her much, and he has alot of catching up to do. I really hope the weather is good! I was looking at and they predicted 90s. yuck. Hopefully the humidity isnt too bad. I reallllly hate being hot! lol

O well. If I ever move to Florida, I am definitely going to have to just deal with it. haha
I really am excited. I haven't been to Florida on a "real" vacation since I was pregnant with Emma! It is going to be so great. Plus it will be Emma's first time going to the beach! yay!

After sleeping on it for the 2nd night...

I feel much better. Honestly, A little relieved and I feel like I have gotten all of my feelings out. I am going to keep moving forward. Sometimes things don't work out. Its really going to be okay.
I just wanted to post my last blog about the ordeal. I feel at peace now, and completely happy with how things are. It was alittle unfortunate, but its just not how things are supposed to be, and I am sure there is better for me in my future :)

I'm actually excited. I am going to Florida here in just 11 days. I get a vacation! After that I plan on getting a job, working, getting my own place. I am happy to devote all my time and energy into that. I don't have to wait around anymore trying to figure out an "us" (me and alex) and where WE will be at. Now all I have to think about is me, and Emma, and our life. A huge amount of stress is lifted, and I feel better than I have in months!

Here's to the Single life!

New York! New York!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

What can I say? I miss it. I miss everything about it. The hustle, the bustle.. the romance of the city. the "busyness" ...

Site seeing, always seeing something new. I didn't even do alot while I was there. There are so man things I wish I would have done. I wish I would have picnicked out in Central Park. I wish I would have gone to some bars, and did more evening things. The whole time I was there I was thinking, I hate this. I don't want this. This isn't for me, and now that I am gone... I feel empty. I long to be back there.

I miss the shopping, the adventures, the quiet cab rides.

Maybe what I miss is Alex. The moment I left I kept feeling like I was forgetting something. I checked everything I had 2304920 times. Surely, I had everything with me but him. My last txt to him in NY was, "I feel like I am forgetting something... but I think what I am forgetting is you."

I believe that. As much as I said I hated NY, didn't want to be there, it was an experience there that I shared with Alex, and it was a wonderful one. It was like a fairytale, and it always was when I was with him. I just don't understand how something so great can go so wrong. I feel like there is so much unfinished business between us, and I hate it. I can't stop loving someone that I was head over heels for in just a day.

Its impossible.

I wonder if I was the only one in this romantic world of mine. I wonder if it was the long distance. I just don't understand all the lies. I don't understand at all. I don't even know what I should do. I wish I knew how he felt. If he ever cared. There were so many times that I was the one questioning the relationship, did I push him away?

I always wondered once he moved to NY if he would some day choose that lifestyle over me. looks like he did. All he did was lie about his going out and drinking. Was it worth it? Maybe there was another woman, and he just couldn't have the balls to tell me. He doesn't owe me any answers though. I don't/shouldn't need them to move on. It still hurts. It kills. Why does the one man who I thought was different end up as a big like all the others? He was different. I swore he was. He was the man who was supposed to prove to me that not all men are the same.

Why the hell didn't he prove it to me!?
Why do I feel so blindsided by all this? There has to be something else. There has to be.

I can't help but wonder, but while I type this I am saying to my self "It doesn't matter anymore dummy, get over it"

Get over it I must do. I think the hardest time is at night. We used to talk everynight... and I really got used to it. During the day I am fine, but these nights are starting to get so lonely. I'm sure hes having a great time right now, partying... etc. I know that I was the one to break things off, but in a way he did all of this. He's the one who drove me to this point. He doesn't even seem to care. I would be begging, pleading. And YES I do expect that from someone who has wronged the "love of his life"
He said all the time that I was the first person he ever fell in love with. Was that a lie? Was everything he ever told me a lie?!
I can go on and on and on about this until dawn, but in the end its over..
but does it really matter? no. Nothing I post in this blog can change anything. He is a pig for screwing up something so great.

but then again, was it great? It couldn't have been.

It wasn't.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

My favorite part :

From the movie The Seven Year Itch:

The worst part of the movie is that its based from Manhattan. Alex is in Manhattan. SHIT! I swear every show or movie I watch has SOMETHING to do with new york, and of course that reminds me of ALEX. Damn.

Whats the greatest medicine for breakups?

Champagne, Marilyn Monroe Movies, and SHOPPING!
Lastnight I sat alone watching The Seven Year Itch, and drank Champagne.
It did indeed make me feel better, so I recommend it to anyone who has broken up with someone ! haha
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
This morning I woke up, Took a shower, got all dolled up then went SHOPPING.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I HATE wearing Jeans. Despise them actually..but today I tried on a pair and actually loved them. They are the trouser cut jeans from The Gap. Even better, I got them a size smaller than usual, and they were alittle LOOSE!
Here's a pic:
I also got a shirt, a silk vintage looking shirt, cute sweatpants, and a dress. Then I went and got a fall jacket. its sooooo cute. its quarterlength, has a white and black print on it, and has one big button on the chest.

Veryyyy cute :)
I cant wait til fall.

Me and Emma went to dinner together. We went to El Camino, and it was absolutely delicious as always. Major Emma brag- Emma was soooooo good at dinner, and REALLY good at the stores!
I was so proud of my baby!!!
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

One rant-
While we were at the restaurant, after we had eaten I took Emma to those little candy/junk machines.. teehee.. and there was a boy who was probably around 10ish. He kept asking me for money! I was like, "No! Go ask your mom!" His parents were looking at me and didn't even get up and say, hey, here's some money. They weren't even even at all astounded at him asking a total stranger for money!

This also happened to me at Chuck E Cheese. If Emma asked someone for money, I would be totally embarrassed, and I would apologize, and then explain to Emma that you don't ask strangers for money, or ANYTHING!

I also went to a dealership here about a job. On the Application it asked for how much you weigh!
Can you believe that?? I can't believe they put that, its ILLEGAL to put stuff like that on apps and they can be sued!


Other than that, it was a really good day.

What are you ready for?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I used to think I was ready for marriage. Maybe I am not. Maybe I want to be single, and it just be me and Emma. I am happy with that. Maybe getting married is way to early to even think about in my life. I am not sure.

I want to date around. Be single- Don't get committed yet. Have fun. I'm sick of looking for love, or trying to find love in someone. I could see myself marrying Alex. I really could. Besides Edel, he is the only person I got close enough to feel those feelings for. Apparently the New York lifestyle got the better of him. I was always ok when he would go out. I never wanted him to stay cooped up at home. The constant drinking and partying was getting alittle annoying though. I felt like everything had to be all about him.

I could see myself in New York with him, but I wonder if he would be happy leaving that lifestyle.

Who knows?

Anyways- thats beyond the point. I made it official two days ago that we are not getting back together, so I really should stop thinking about him in general. Hes not the one for me. I deserve honesty. Something he never has been able to give me. I'm sure he loves his life now that he doesn't have to lie to his gf about what he's doing. I am sure he was out partying lastnight, and loving every minute of it.

and you know, its alright. I'm ok, not that he cares.. but I really don't care anymore either way.
I am going to have a good week. I am going to get away, and just enjoy myself.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My greatest endeavor.

Do you think your the first woman in the world to fall in love with your illusion of the man you're with? Misjudging a man is a sin committed by a women over and over again. We're romantics; we see what we want to see. Later, when reality hits, you have to hope there's enough goodness there, and mutual respect,to keep it together.

I always date men, and love who I want them to be. Instead, I need to just move on and find someone who is better.

No more games anymore. I don't care for games. One strike and he's out.

And even better,

I am SINGLE again!!!!
(and happy to be)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Pulling the Plug

I'm sick of being last. Always on hold in this relationship.
Coming to New York only to find two wine glasses on the dry rack, and "female products" in his trashcan.

For him to always be going out, saying he will call, then "forgetting" and not calling me until dinner time the next day.

For him to call me and act COMPLETELY oblivious to the situation.
For the times he said, "I won't do that" and he did.
For the stupid statement "ok, I know I haven't called, but I'm calling now"
Fuck that.

For the, Hey, I am going to a movie alone tonight, Im going alone to this concert, Im going here alone, etc. Um hello? Am I stupid? NOPE.

At this point, Im forgetting that you've called, twice. I'm forgetting that I deleted you from all my internet accounts.
Maybe this is one thing YOU will remember=
Big Mistake.

"Maybe you can't change a man, but once in a blue moon, you can change a woman"
I'm ready to be someone's first priority.

New Makeup!

For about 24 dollars I got all this:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

mark Flip For It Fall Color Kit

(The Sydney Collection)
I really am excited. I love the commercial of Lauren Conrad ... it definitely did the trick, it got me to buy some! hahaha

I love makeup and will definitely right out a review after I am done. This will me my first Mark. product, so I am very excited to see if I will like it. all the reviews I have seen rave about it.

Here is the commercial. It really reminds me of Sex and the City. :)

Mini Apple Pies!

Thats what are in the oven right now!

This is what we did:

greased a muffin tray, lined it with pie dough

Filled it with Apple filling, and then put cinnamon and sugar on top

Covered it with extra pie dough scraps.

Finished product:

It smells SO good.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Mac's Eyeshadow Shadestick- Sharkskin

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Is discontinued !! I heard that it did, but I wasn't sure. I went to the site to order some and yes, sure enough its gone!! :( boo!


Image and video hosting by TinyPic
We pray every single night before we go to bed. I really wanted to start praying on the rosary, but Emma hardly understands what praying is in the first place, so I am afraid she wont be interested.
I really want to start doing this, and getting my prayer cards out.

I know simple prayer is good enough, but I really believe the more you pray about something, the better the situation gets. Anytime I am having hardships in my life, I pray about it.
Usually it does get better. At times that it doesn't got just directs me to a different path I am at a very thankful place right now in my life.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Fortune Cookies

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Me and Emma are eating some right now. I bought a box from the store, along with chinese noodles, egg rolls, etc. and made my Chinese lunch yesterday. Well, we forgot to eat our cookies, so me and Emma are eating them now.

I don't know what it is about them, but I love them. They are by far my FAVORITE cookie. Plus they are lowfat, and you CANT beat that! I used to save all my fortunes before I had Emma. I had hundreds of them because me and her father would always eat Chinese.

So I was thinking about it, and I thought it would be fun to start saving them again.

So far Emma has had two:

"There is a time to be practical-Now"


"All your hard work will soon pay off"

Mine said:

"Soon you will be sitting on the top of the world"

Great fortune!

About a year ago I sent a giant fortune to one of my friends. Inside it, I put a nice message. it was covered in chocolate, and had sprinkles on it.

I wish someone sent me one :P
I would love to make my own, I saw Curtis from Take Home Chef make them and they really arent hard at all :)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Weekend is Over!

Well, my mom is coming back from Chicago today. I have spent most of the day cleaning, but EVERYONE keeps making little messes!

I cant wait til this week starts back up, that way I have some peace and quiet when the kids are in school. ;)

My Sweet Baby

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Emma was in Lexi's Old Playdress today, and went outside. I didnt have my camera with me, so I took a quick shot with my phone. Maybe sometime this week Ill take her out again in it and take some good pics!

Saturday, August 23, 2008


I made this for Lunch:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Its Lo Mein noodles, with carrots, snow peas,broccoli, red pepper, onions and chicken
Also, I heated up some eggrolls. :)

My Emma helped too <3 href="" target="_blank">Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Don't Play Games with A Girl Who Can Play Better

*Love that Quote!*
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Friday, August 22, 2008

Pink Champagne and Strawberries

So tonight Emma fell asleep real early so that gave me time for some Pink Champagne with Strawberries, and a mini photo shoot

I had to change from my effing turtle neck dress
just a sec ago: